I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
