They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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