i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
