ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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