I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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