FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
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