where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
