Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
