i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
