I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
