you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
