I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
