it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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