On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize