Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
