As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I supernannyed him into submission
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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