Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
