I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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