No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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