I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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