I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
