I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
