Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
