i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
