I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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