Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
