Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You've changed since you got that strap on
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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