I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize