I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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