Don't make out with my wife yet
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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