Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
