i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
