im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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