i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
