you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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