Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
how drunk are you?
Several
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
