Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
