am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize