Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
So many bounce houses so little time
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
