Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize