I could make wine with my vomit
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
