His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
