Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm always down for nudity.
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