Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
