If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I didn't notice because vodka
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
