I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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