Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
