A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He did a backflip because drugs
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
