How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize