Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
