last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize