There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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