I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
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