at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
