Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
