I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Pooping to opera.
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