he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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