Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
